Unmasking DARVO
Dear gentle reader,
We write to you in hopes to keep you safe.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling small, confused, or even guilty for sharing your feelings, please know that you are not alone. Emotional manipulation in relationships can be deeply disorienting. One of the many ways this can show up is through a pattern called DARVO.
DARVO stands for:
Deny – “That never happened.”
Attack – “You’re overreacting.”
Reverse Victim and Offender – “I’m the one who’s really being hurt here.”
When someone responds this way, it flips accountability. Instead of your feelings being honored, the focus shifts onto you. It can leave you doubting yourself, silenced, or even apologizing when you did nothing wrong.
Over time, these experiences can chip away at your confidence and make you question whether your feelings are valid. Often, with enough exposure to these situations, you may even believe that you’re to blame. But here is what we want you to know:
Your feelings and memories matter
You are not “too sensitive” for wanting respect and care.
Boundaries are healthy, not selfish.
You deserve relationships where you feel safe, respected, and heard.
It is not your fault, and no, you did not deserve it.
There is nothing on this planet that you could do to justify this kind of treatment.
Healing from emotional manipulation, including DARVO, takes time and gentle support. Therapy can be a safe place to name these patterns, understand how they’ve impacted you, and reconnect with your own strength to rebuild safety and life that is waiting for you.
At Humanistic Health, we would be honoured to walk alongside you as you heal. Carly, our Registered Social Worker, has experience supporting people through the effects of trauma, manipulation, and relational pain. Her work is grounded in compassion and deep respect for your story to help you build the life you are deserving of.
With nothing but love,
The Humanistic Health Team
If this feels like the kind of support you’ve been longing for, you can take the next step here:
